Marriage: The Spouse

marriage series_

I was hoping to share more about Re|engage today but it was canceled last Thursday. Nothing like the threat of snow and/or ice to shut down evening events in Texas. We can barely drive in the rain which means any form of winter precipitation is a cause for concern and caution. But, that doesn’t mean I’m void of a marriage post this week. I have been pondering some things about my husband and my attitude. This week it’s about the spouse.

Friends, my husband isn’t a perfect guy and I’m far from the perfect girl so we make an alright couple. I imagine it’s the same under your roof. I’ve found that I can get a little lazy and be somewhat unappreciative of little things my husband does for me on the regular. To say the least I can even expect that he does little things for me although I don’t say that, I sure find myself thinking it. Now, let me say there are a few things that he does {I’ll share in a moment} that are kind and considerate and yet I have found myself not being very grateful for them as the years go by.

How my husband is thoughtful to me:

1. Opening doors. Rarely does my hand touch the door handle of any vehicle or door of any kind when I’m with my husband. He takes this little thing seriously and can get frustrated with me when I reach to open one myself. {Side note – I open my doors when I’m angry at him just so I can be a jerk. That’s the truth.} I typically say thank you to him but it’s more out of habit than thankfulness, I think.

2. Making coffee. My coffee skills are almost non-existent because this is something my husband does each morning. Ok, are you thinking no big deal to push the “on or brew” button? Well, that’s where you would be wrong. We perk our coffee. On the stove. Well, he does and then brings a cup to me while I’m putting on my make up. Every.single.day. Again, thank you is what I say but more out habit than being grateful, I think.

3. Putting gas in my car. When my husband was deployed and running around the world in Army fatigues, I was in Texas remembering how to fill up my gas tank again. True story, the first time after he left I couldn’t get the cap off the gas tank and had to ask a stranger for assistance. That man was totally annoyed with me. I’m sure he was thinking, I.can’t. even! So, yeah, I filled up my little baby during those years but no longer. Grateful? Yep, I should be but most of the time I don’t think about it because it’s something he just does for me.

4. Starting my car. My husband likes to have our vehicles started and warmed up before we drive off in the morning. I mentioned that it’s nice that he does this, but my car is still cold on the inside. He was more concerned about the motor being warm on colder days and I’m was more concerned about my bottom being warmer on colder days…but I digress. I happened to mention that his truck seats are warm on cold days because he has butt warmers in the seats but my car doesn’t have them. I also went on to say that even when he starts my car the motor is warm but the seats are not. Guess what? The next time I got in my car in the morning to leave for work, the seats were warm because he went out a little earlier and made sure the heater was warm and running. I was very grateful on that one, friends!

5. Cooking meals. Let’s be honest here…I don’t share much in the food category because I’m not really that great of a cook. Many of our meals are thought out and prepared by the spouse {not this one who is typing this spouse}. I’ll ask if I can help with something and he simply says, “No, you go read or work on your blog.” Ok, it’s a deal is what I think. I’ll eat whatever he’s making because it’s always good. I’ll clean up the dishes but he always helps. He loves to feed me and I love to eat. Evidently the way to a this woman’s heart is through her stomach. I’m grateful for this man!

Why am I sharing these little things today? Because the little things matter. Little words matter too. Being grateful and thankful and expressing those to your spouse matter.  Sometimes I get it through my head that my husband isn’t always the best with words but his actions reflect what he thinks, feels and believes. When he takes a moment to call me during the day just to say, “I love you” it’s because he’s being thoughtful and not wasting my time or interrupting my day.

The point is, don’t forget to be thankful and to stop and express that to your spouse. Each of us has our own unique way of expressing love to our spouse. So do it! Do all the things whether it be speaking or doing, just don’t forget and let them slide because that’s a sure-fire way to lose ground in a marriage.

I’m the wordy person in our relationship. But I need to work on being more observant. Hubby is doing stuff for me that I neglect to acknowledge because I’d rather us be talking about all the issues. He’s working them out by doing first and talking later. Me, I’m adjusting and learning to be grateful and thankful and quiet more often.

Well, I’m doing a little “doing” myself. Like these little babies…you can always get the males through the tummy, right? This worked out well for both of us. I want to learn this cupcake decorating skill and he wants to eat them. Ok, we both want to eat them. You get it!

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Y’all go and enjoy your spouse and be thankful!

Be blessed! ~ Carrie

Where I’m linking up.

  • I.love.this.post! It makes me so happy to know both of you! And it actually makes me extra appreciative of the little things that Justin does to make my life happier. Thank you for the gratitude reminder :)
    • Thank you, friend! I love writing from my heart and it makes me so happy when it's helpful to others.
  • I loved this post! I need to stop and remember all the reasons I'm thankful for my husband.
    • Thank you, Brandie! I'm glad it was a good reminder for you too. :)
  • Carrie, you nailed it in this post and reminded me to not just say the 'thank you' (out of habit) but really step back and think, 'wow, I am a lucky to have someone doing the little things that make my days go a little smoother.' I giggled at the opening the door just to tick him off because I do things, or don't do things, just as a passive aggressive way to communicate that i am ticked off. How awful, but true. Thank you for sharing.
    • Thank you, sweet lady! So thankful you have a sweet hubby! I know you do!
  • Chrissy Rowden
    I love this sweet, sweet post that is a fabulous reminder to pay attention to and appreciate the daily little things! Wonderful post.
    • Thank you so much, Chrissy!
  • Lisa Richardson
    Great reminder, Carrie! Sounds like you've got a keeper. ❤️
  • This is such a great reminder, especially when you are in a routine of daily life and sometimes feel like you are going through the motions. We need to stop and be thankful for the little things! Going to share on my FB page friend.
    • I'm so glad you enjoyed this and thanks so much for sharing!
  • Lori
    Love this! Thanks for reminding us of what we should be doing.
  • Yes! I'm so thankful for my patient husband and all the little tasks he completes every day that make life in our home so much better. This post is such a great reminder that we're together so we can serve one another in love!
    • Yes! We are definitely to serve one another in love.
  • Lovely, lovely. Thankful, you have much ! #Ranomd-osityhop
    • Thank you so much for your encouragement!
  • Great post, Carrie! And I agree that the little things DO matter!
    • Thank you, Laura! I love to write from my heart!
  • I *love* this!!! Soooooo much! All the yeses! Can’t agree more!
    • Thank you, Sheila! Hugs to you!
  • Aw, I love this Carrie. I especially love your point about the little things being important. I need to focus on those things more often.
    • It's so easy to overlook small things because of the demands of everyday life.
  • Kelsey Peacock
    This is such a great post! I'm bad about neglecting to notice the little things at times too. When we focus on all the wonderful things they're doing right, the things they get wrong just don't matter as much! Kelsey www.kelseypeacock.com
    • I could not agree with you more, Kelsey! Thank you for stopping by!
  • I love this post so much! It's such a great reminder because I can tend to get lazy and expect things too. I need to remember that a simple thank you and showing more love can go a long way. Sierra~Beautifully Candid
  • Such a great post friend. So important to remember the little things - they make the world go round!
  • Aww, this post was so sweet it just gave me the biggest grin! I think I've been to a gas station maybe once in my seven years of marriage to fill up my own tank--when we had two cars, he'd always make sure to drive mine often enough that he could put gas in the car for me, and I sure appreciated it! Now we're down to one car so this task is a bit easier. :)