Are you a good communicator? It depends, right? You and I both know what we are trying to say but sometimes the receiver just doesn’t get it. This can be a real rub, especially in marriage and life in general.
Last Thursday evening at Re|engage the topic was focused on communicating in order to “Grow in the adventure of knowing and being known.” The point is to help move couples where they can grow together relationally, spiritually and sexually. During the course of the evening, we discussed how we communicate as well as roadblocks to open communication.
Throughout the course of the evening, each couple shared ways that they communicated well and not so well.
I shared these two points:
- There is an importance in asking for clarification during a discussion or argument. One thing I typically ask my husband is, “What do you mean by that?” This allows him to refocus and regroup in order to better explain exactly what he is trying to communicate. This also ensures that I understand exactly what he is trying to share.
- Something else I have found to be helpful, especially when things escalate which can happen because of miscommunication is to say things such as, “This is what I think you said. Is that what you meant to say?” “What did you mean to say?” The point being is this: Repeating back what was said or how it has been interpreted is helpful for clarification.
Communicating well takes work on both ends. The speaker and listener both have to work at it. When words such as always and never or other absolutes start popping up, then the communication starts to break down. Those absolutes typically can breed an avenue of negativity or escalation and this is a reason to choose to ask questions.
Marriage is a place where couples should have the freedom to be known as fully as possible and still feel secure. Unfortunately, communication can sometimes hinder freedom and closeness in a marriage. There is always hope though. Maybe if communication is not going well in your marriage or other relationships seek first to understand instead of being understood.
I hope you will seek to communicate well with all those humans in your life.
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:12
Be blessed! ~ Carrie
Where I’m linking up.
