For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1
…a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; ~ Ecclesiastes 3:7
Does communication seem to be difficult?
Does it ever get easier?
Does it leave you drained?
Well, yes to all questions but hopefully not yes to all, all the time.
Marriage is work and so is communicating. It doesn’t matter if we communicate with a spouse, a child or even a friend it takes work. Yes, it can be draining when you feel as though you are on parallel lines that will never have an intersecting perpendicular line of understanding. It happens to all of us at one time or another.
So what’s the answer to better communication? It seems there are a few things that aid in making it better.
**First of all, listen. I remember when I was teaching and there was a science unit that we talked about fire. What does one do if they are on fire? Stop, drop and roll. Following those steps should put out the fire. Well, the tongue is a little piece of fire and at times it has to be stopped. Close the mouth and listen. Listen to understand without having your response ready. Maybe there doesn’t need to be a response in that moment.
Oh, how this is hard for me. I am a talker. I love to explain and I love words. I’m rarely speechless. I have found as I examine myself lately that I have become a poor listener. I want to talk and be in charge of the conversation. Every conversation. That does not work well in marriage or in friendships.
** Second, stop and hold your tongue. I think it, therefore, I must say it. Nope. No way. That is not true. I think lots of things. Actually, I have some fabulous posts on FB almost every day. Do I post them? No way. Why? They aren’t kind, they aren’t edifying and they help no one.
When we speak our words should be helpful, kind and edifying especially if we love someone.
**Third, wait for the right time. Wait or rush in? Speak now or not? Oh, the dilemmas and minefields that pepper our lives in the realm of communication. Be quiet in order to learn if in the moment anything should be said. It is okay to postpone a response. It is okay to hold off on comments or commentary for a later time. It takes wisdom to know when to speak not just what to say.
Getting the timing wrong can lead to prolonged problems in a relationship. Sometimes when you wait the realization will be that what “needed” to be said, really was better left unsaid. Been there and done that!
That’s it. That’s your stop, drop and roll or in other words…Listen, Stop and Wait.
Last week I wrote a little about communication that you read here.
Have a great day and be blessed! ~ Carrie
Where I’m linking up.
