Alright, no Re|engage last week either. I was getting sick and opted to stay home. And then…the full force of the flu happened. Thankfully, this post was in my head long ago and written for another day but evidently today is that day!
Sharing real stuff from my heart. You have been warned!
I think there might just be a few ladies out there who can identify with my struggle. Enter body image. Has this ever been your struggle? If so, you’re in the right place today because I have struggled with this for longer than I care to admit. Working through the issues of body image can improve our overall well-being and that’s a good thing.
Is it hard to love yourself or your body? Can you learn to be satisfied or content? I know it’s a process and can take time to accept yourself especially the self that is a reflection in the mirror.
In the days when I grew up without the bombardment of social media and openness that readily exists today, I don’t think I was aware how women treated their bodies in order to look slim and attractive. I for one never realized how models may have been suffering physically in order to have the “perfect” look for the runway. It wasn’t discussed and I never gave it much thought. I just wanted to look like them. Today it’s a whole new world. Look no further than the last season of Project Runway to see how culture is now learning and striving to embrace women of all sizes.
Although where we are currently and continue to move in the future can be a good place it doesn’t always erase the practices and acceptances of the past. That battle in the mind and mirror is not necessarily an easy mountain to conquer.
Well, this has been my struggle in the past and present. To be honest, by the medical standards I would be considered underweight. A normal weight for me today at this age would actually be what I weighed when I was nine months pregnant according to the charts I’ve read. That is a hard concept for me to reconcile and accept. I’m not sure I’ll ever agree with those numbers and embrace them fully, but I am currently at a higher weight than I have been in the last 5-7 years. Honestly, I am struggling with that just a bit.
But in that struggle a few health issues have also arisen that beg for me to change the way I eat and exercise. When you hear that you are feeding your body too much protein and stressing your kidneys, you begin to listen. When you hear continuing down that path could set you up for renal failure, you begin to get scared and motivated to change. When you also are told the nervous system needs carbohydrates you know it’s serious that you aren’t consuming enough. Kidneys, nervous system…not things I want to ignore. But I have to conquer my mind and the mirror should my weight continue to rise with a different diet and most likely less strenuous exercise. I do know this: workout supplements and powdered protein will not be a daily indulgence for me. Good bye to those and hello to more healthy carbs and fats on the daily.
To be honest, this is not fitting into My Happiness Project as I envisioned. Although commandment number one is *Be Carrie and number two is *Be defined by God, not the World. I’m left to discover her in a new way that makes me a little uncomfortable. Yet, this is all for my good and I cannot buy my health but I can make changes to repair and prevent problems. This is my healthy well-being focus.
A picture paints a 1,000 words, right? I thought I would share a few photos from the blog during 2014. I’m probably at my lowest weight, which I know was probably not very healthy.
Those pictures are not me today and I’m reminding myself that is a good thing!
I’m also remembering *Be Defined by God, and not the World. The Lord says this about me:
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. ~ Psalm 139:14
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. ~ Proverbs 31:30
The Lord does not look at the things people look at.People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. ~ 1 Samuel 16:7
What do I need to remember? The Lord has made my body in a wonderful manner, honoring Him is of far greater worth than worldly beauty and He is looking at the condition of my heart. Bottom line ~ my inside needs to good and right with Him and that will reflect on the outside. That beauty is never fleeting!
Having said all that, I’m glad I’m not lamenting that those jeans no longer would fit me if they were still in my closet. Moving on, sisters! Hope you’ll be with me on this journey. It could get crAzY!
Be blessed, friends! ~ Carrie
Where I’m linking up.